Is this real life...? Yes.

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               I've been under a lot of stress lately, what with school work and boxing (ya’ know, all that jazz). I didn't know what was wrong with me, but a close friend of mine explained how I "changed" a little recently. I haven't notice, but maybe I did in some way, and from what I can tell it sounds like it was for the worse.

             

              My name is Jamie Poser Lewis, I live in Austin, Texas and I'm a 23 year old college student enrolling to become a computer engineer over at the University of Texas (UT). On my spare time, I'd hang out with other college buddies and make visits to the local arcade near the campus just to get my video game fix. I don't own any gaming consoles at my place, but I do have a computer! Sadly, it's a bit weak so I can't play any of the latest games on it.

              The only thing that stands out from my hobbies would be my small boxing career. I joined a boxing gym a good eight months ago with the only goal in mind was to get into shape. I was there so often, the regulars from the gym notice me and wanted to do some sparring. After a few sparring sessions, they saw something in me, they wanted me to become better and stronger. The main coach of the gym started training me and making me do weekly routines to help get me into shape. The coach was training me for some kind of "qualifier” and he wanted me to participate in it. Winning the event would qualify me into the "Rookie Boxing League" tournament that was happening here in Texas. I won the qualifier, and I'd advance up a round after a very successful victory in the first part of the Rookie League bracket. My next match was three weeks away...

I made a visit to a local psychiatrist in hopes to find an answer to the real reason behind my dreams. Meeting with him, he kind of "opened" my eyes a bit... well not really. I told him about the last few dreams I've had, and how they would only occur if I were to watch an episode of the show that night while high on the green. The doctor (look, I'll just call him a doctor for now) was worried of any addictions I may have. I informed him I've never been the type of person to get "addicted" to anything, and I normally find myself quitting something right after starting.

The doctor groaned and asked several more questions. "So you tend to give up a lot of activities as soon as you start them?"

I replied, "No! Well, sometimes I do. Sometimes I just lose motivation when I start certain stuff."

"Why is that?"

"Normally if it's a group activity, I'd be one of the first to give up because I'm worried of letting everyone else down. Giving up first would give those people less expectations in me, so that way they won't be disappointed in the future."

"I see. And when was your last relationship?"

"Three years ago."

The doctor thought about it for a bit and figured out what the issue may be. He said I be suffering from sort of sexual depression. Due to lack of sex in years, I've gained a type of stigma that makes me sexually distress and watching ponies is the only temporary remedy known at the moment. He said the pony I would dream about is possibly the closest thing I would like to see in a woman, and won't be satisfied until I find someone who shares the same personality.

I thought about it for a bit, and asked the doctor a personal question, "If you were seduce by a female cartoon pony, would you try to have sex with her?"
              He didn't answer. I wonder what he thought about the bananas.

Later, I hit up the boxing gym. It was mid-afternoon and one of the regulars there had me doing mitts with them on the ring to prepare for the upcoming tournament.

As I continued punching the mitts, I asked him, "Hey! If you had a dream about a female cartoon pony lying next to bed with you, would you try to have sex with her? I mean, it'd be okay since you would be a cartoon pony yourself... right?"

The regular slapped me hard on the face with the mitts on, "Shut up!" and placed his hands back into position so I could continue punching them.

I continued to punch the mitts, but I asked another question, "If I was a female cartoon pony, would you have sex me?"

The regular slapped me once again with the mitts, "Shut up!"

I continued my training and they treated me like they normally would, like if I never asked anything.

At this point, I was really worried about the whole situation. I wanted to talk to someone about my problems here, but not to a psychiatrist. And my regular buddies wouldn't understand me if I talked to them about this. Maybe if I found a good girlfriend I could talk to her about this and my stress would disappear. Yeah, talking to a female friend about my pony fantasies sounds like a great idea... I just need friends... who are girls... first.

Maybe I didn't need someone to talk to, maybe I could just return back to "that world". I knew how to get back, and I haven't been keeping up with the MLP episodes as of late so I’d have a lot of catching up to do. I'll just get high tonight, watch an episode, and dream about Twilight. I just want to meet her and tell her how I feel about her! She needs to know, and there's only one way I can do that, and I'm going to need to buy a lot of bananas!